Your Support
by AbbyLockhrt
Summary: Abby finally asked for help, but will she accept it.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story. Author's note: This is my first attempt at a fanfic, not to mention the fact that it occurred late at night. So, please, be gentle with your reviews.  
  
Your Support  
  
  
  
She made herself reach for the phone. She had to call someone. She needed help. "Hello?" a formal-sounding voice answered. She quickly blurted out, "Sorry wrong number," and then slammed down the phone. She couldn't do it. She wasn't the kind of person to ask for help. "I made it through childhood with mom," she thought. "I can make it through this.  
  
** ** ** ** ** **  
  
The entire drive to work all he could think about was what Susan had said the other day at the lecture. "Why don't you tell her?" He couldn't even begin to explain it to Susan. Was it because he was worried about rejection? Sort of. Was it because he was concerned about getting in a relationship with her so fast? No. Deep down he knew exactly why. He was afraid. Not of being turned down, but of losing her friendship. The last time he had told her of his feelings she had run away, retreated back into herself. It had taken them forever to get their friendship back. "Hurry and get changed Carter. We need you." He had, while in this train of thought, entered the ER. They, on a day where all he wanted to do was think things through, were, of course, completely swamped. He entered the lounge and proceeded to open his locker. Just then the door opened. He knew who it was. He could sense their presence in a room. "Good morning." A diminishing scratchy voice replied, "Morning." Sliding his arm through the other sleeve of his lab coat, he immediately turned around hearing the condition of her voice. He immediately became worried upon seeing her appearance. She looked as if she should be his next patient. He quickly approached her. "Abby, you look awful." She gave him one of her playful laughs, though with half the energy, "Thanks, Carter." "I didn't mean." "Don't worry, Carter. That seems to be the general consensus." She tried to take another step forward, but lost her balance.  
  
** ** ** ** ** **  
  
She felt his hands grab onto her and stop her unexpected fall. They stood connected until she began to feel uncomfortable. "Thanks, Carter." "Abby, you're hot." With that he reached a hand to touch her forehead. She pulled away, but not before she felt a quick swipe of his fingers to her forehead. It made the chills she had bee feeling all morning intensify, yet cooled down her throbbing head. "You definitely have a fever." "Well, I'm freezing." "You're coming down with something. You should go home." "Thank you, doctor." She said sarcastically, all the while wishing she had brought her coat. "But, I can't go home. Brian's there and I don't want to be in that building at the same time as him." "He's still out!" She could see the concern rise in his eyes. Going to her locker and exchanging her bag for her stethoscope she replied, "Yeah, all he had to do was some lousy community service." As she closed her locker another shiver went down her spine. Obviously Carter had seen it, for she noticed that he had started to approach her. He began to open his locker. "If you're not going to go home, at least wear my jacket until you warm up." "No, Carter. I'll be fine." She chanced to glace at his face and noticed his I-will-not-take-no-for-an-answer look. He opened up the coat for her, "Come on." As she slid the coat on she could feel that it was still warm from its previous use. His scent was still on it. She pulled it closer around her. "Thanks." All of a sudden Kerry stepped into the lounge. "Carter, where have you been? We needed you in Trauma 2 and now we've got an MVA coming in." "I'm sorry. Abby isn't feeling well. She was cold so I came back to give her my jacket." Well, do it faster next time." With that she began to walk out the door, then paused. "I hope you feel better, Abby." And with that she was gone. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Here's the next chapter. I hope it's okay. Also, I'll be out of town for the next week, so there won't be updates for a while.  
  
Your Support  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
  
Abby entered the lounge. She had to find Carter. She was off and wanted to go home, but she still had his jacket.  
  
As she walked into the lounge she noticed Carter sitting in a chair staring out the window. She just stood there and stared at him for a moment. She needed to talk to him. He was the only one that could help her. He was her friend. Her best friend. Why couldn't she just go over and tell him, "Carter, I need your help"? She was strong. But there was something more than that. She knew she wanted more than friendship with Carter. It was hard for her to speak to him now. Especially after his revelation to her and consequent rejection of her. How did he really feel?  
  
She shook these thoughts from her mind. "Carter?"  
  
He turned around to look at her. As their eyes met she could feel the intensity that she usually felt when they made eye contact.  
  
"I'm off," she said as she approached him. "I wanted to give you back your jacket. Thank you."  
  
"How are you feeling?" She loved the way he seemed genuinely concerned about her well being.  
  
"I'm feeling a lot better. Carter," she began. "I." She hesitated.  
  
"Is there something wrong? Do you wanna talk about it?"  
  
'Just tell him, Abby,' she said to herself. 'He cares. He really does. He'll help you. Let him help you.' "No, I'm good. I'm just exhausted."  
  
"I'm off too. Why don't you let me drive you home?"  
  
"How long have you been off?"  
  
"Only about 20 minutes." She stared at him in amazement. He seemed to know what she was thinking for he added, "I couldn't leave without my coat." 'Of course he had to flash me one of those Carter smiles,' she thought. They always made her day go better. Even when she had had a day like today. "Now let me drive you home," he continued.  
  
"I.thanks, Carter." She was glad he had made the offer. It would give her more time to talk to him. 'It's now or never,' she though. 'He's giving you the opportunity to ask for help.'  
  
** ** ** ** ** **  
  
His eyes shifted between the road and her sleeping figure. She had fallen asleep almost the moment they had entered the car. He needed to tell her how he felt, but the previous May entered his mind. Sure he hadn't done the best job nor was it the most eloquent, but he had told her.  
  
Then after getting their friendship back he had blown it. "I'll settle for someone who isn't hung up on someone else." Why had he said that? He could have had what he always dreamed about. But, she had wounded his pride the last time and he had felt the need to give what he got.  
  
He needed to know if she still felt the same way, to see if he could redeem himself from his previous mistake. But she seemed so vulnerable right now.  
  
There was something troubling her and it was taking its toll on her health. Why wouldn't she trust him? He cared. How could she not know that? He knew how. If someone had behaved the way he had, he would have been confused too.  
  
The entire way to Abby's and then finally home all he could think about was her. He wanted to help. He had to find a way to help.  
  
** ** ** ** ** **  
  
"Abby, get me a peds intubation tray."  
  
As she neared the cart she noticed Carter digging through the next cart over. She had been avoiding him all day, but there was no way to now. All she had thought about for her entire shift was how he kept staring at her the whole drive home the night before.  
  
"Morning Abby," he began as she approached him. "Feeling any better?"  
  
"Yes, thanks Carter."  
  
"Hey, what are friends for?" he said as he began to walk away.  
  
"Carter," she managed to blurt out. "I.can.what time are you off tonight?" She had to do it. It was now or never. She could see how his eyes became even more concerned as he neared her through her stuttering.  
  
"Eight. Abby, are you alright?"  
  
"Yes.Carter.could you just please come over when you finish. It's important." And with that she whisked back towards Kerry in the Trauma Room.  
  
  
  
A/N: There it is. Hope you enjoyed it and please review. 


	3. Chapter 3

Your Support Chapter 3  
  
  
  
As Carter approached the door his thoughts began to wander. Throughout the car ride he had realized that Abby had been acting different these last few weeks. 'What could be wrong?' he wondered as he knocked on her door. 'I hope she'll let me help. I hope I can help,' he thought. Just then the door opened.  
  
He was not prepared for the sight that met him. She looked like she had been through a tornado. Her hair was everywhere and her pajamas where all disheveled.  
  
As he peered past her, he saw them. They were everywhere and they were opened. Why was she doing this to herself? She knew that she shouldn't be doing this, didn't she?  
  
** ** ** ** ** ** **  
  
She watched his eyes as they drifted from herself into the room behind her. She could see how his eyes changed when he saw the bottles. The tell-tale evidence that she had fallen. That her broken life had once again been taken over by alcohol. Why didn't he say anything? She knew why.she could see it, the disappointment in his eyes.  
  
"Carter, please say something," she pleaded.  
  
"Can I come in?" She hesitated. It wasn't exactly what she wanted, but at least it was something. Slowly she moved to the side allowing him passage into the apartment.  
  
** ** ** ** ** ** **  
  
He was so angry with her. Why had she done this? Why hadn't she told him she was drinking again? Then he became angry with himself. He should have seen the signs or at least made himself accessible for her to tell him her problems. As he fumed at himself he took notice of how she carefully bolted each lock on the door and then carefully turned around to give him a timid look before focusing her eyes on the floor.  
  
He had to be careful with his next words. In her own way she had opened up to him by asking him to come over. He knew that it had taken her a lot of courage to do that, but he also knew that he had a narrow window with which to work with.  
  
"Abby," he began slowly. "When?" His voice was barely above a whisper. "Why didn't you tell me?" He could see her eyes begin to well up with tears, but he could also see her trying to suppress them.  
  
"I just.I wanted to make it stop." He slowly began to approach her.  
  
"What Abby? What did you want to stop?" he asked gently.  
  
"The fear, the pain, the dread.just everything." She was no longer able to stop the tears.  
  
Slowly, as not to startle her he wrapped her trembling frame in his arms and held her close. It hurt to see her in pain like this, but at least she was letting him see it.  
  
A/N: Sorry it took so long, but I was on vacation. Also, updates will be slow for awhile.finals are upon us. Thanks for the great reviews. I would love some constructive criticism or any ideas you have to help make this better. 


	4. Chapter 4

Your Support Chapter 4  
  
A/N: Sorry this has taken so long, but I was not able to get to a computer over break. Also, I slightly changed the style of the story. Hope you enjoy and please, please review!!  
  
She felt his arms envelope her. They were strong and held her fast. For once she felt safe, protected. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his waist and whispered, "Thank you."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For coming over."  
  
"Abby, you're my best friend, of course I would come over."  
  
"I know.it's just that with everything and us, I just." Before she was able to finish Carter quickly cut her off. "Shhh. Let's not think about that right now."  
  
Slowly Abby pulled away from Carter's embrace. She quickly looked into his eyes in an attempt to gather the courage to complete her next action. She crossed to the coffee table and began picking up the bottles. She then took them to the kitchen and slowly began emptying them down the sink. From the corner of her eye she noticed that Carter had picked up a bottle and was carrying it in her direction. She quickly took the bottle from his hands and firmly stated, "No. I have to do this by myself. Why don't you sit down and I'll make us some coffee?"  
  
Carter have her arm a tight squeeze and went to sit in the living room. The two waited in silence as Abby made the coffee. Neither of them were willing to attempt to deal with the situation at hand and their bantering had long since disappeared as they had grown farther apart.  
  
Eventually, Abby reentered the room with two mugs of coffee, on of which, she handed to Carter. Sitting on the opposite end of the couch, she attempted to break the silence. "So, did Weaver ever figure out who put the thing in her locker?"  
  
"Well, actually." he began.  
  
"Well, actually what?"  
  
"During my internship, I had her locker and they never change the combinations."  
  
"You didn't?!"  
  
"Yep, I did. But it's not like I wasn't encouraged to do it by you and Susan. I mean do you remember the look on Kerry's face when she walked into the Trauma Room?"  
  
"How could I forget it. But, from what Susan said that look couldn't be matched by her look when she opened her locker."  
  
"It looked like you tow hit it off at the seminar."  
  
As soon as he said it, Carter regretted it. Why had he felt the need to bring Susan up anyway? He was preparing to leave when Abby's next comment surprised him.  
  
"She's a really sweet person and sounds like lots of fun. I can see why you would like her."  
  
Carter looked at Abby, stunned. He had imagined her reaction to Susan's name and it hadn't involved a compliment.  
  
"We're having lunch together next week. Maybe, if your lucky she'll invite you on one of our coffee breaks."  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
This was it Carter knew he had to tell her. He should have told her a long time ago. They were friends, after all.  
  
"We broke up."  
  
Abby didn't know what to say. On one hand she was glad that his relationship with Susan hadn't worked out. That meant that they still had a chance. And yet another part of her felt sorry for them. She didn't want to see either of them hurt. Before she had misjudged Susan. She had just seen her as an obstacle between her and Carter. But, at the seminar she and Susan had talked a lot and had found that they actually had a lot in common. She considered Susan a friend now. She shouldn't be happy that her relationship had failed.  
  
Abby noticed Carter's face as her mind whirled. He was waiting for a reaction, any reaction.  
  
"Why?" she finally managed to get out.  
  
That one word sent Carter's mind wandering. Should he tell her Susan's parting words. 'You should tell her.That your desperately in love and can't live another moment without her.' Though it had been said in jest, she had gotten her point across. In fact, he had been amazed that Susan had stayed as long as she had. She had noticed that there was something between him and Abby long before the seminar. But he couldn't tell Abby all this. Not now. Possibly never. He would have to settle for another answer.  
  
"She told me that she didn't feel.it."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"No, it would have happened sooner or later. Anyway, it's not like the relationship didn't have its obstacles."  
  
Carter really didn't want to continue on with this subject. He still remembered the look on Abby's face when she had walked into the Lounge and had seen them kissing. He did not wish to revisit those times.  
  
"But lets not talk about that." With that he looked Abby straight in the eyes willing her to tell him what was going on.  
  
Abby saw the intensity of his gaze and the concern in his eyes. She knew she had to tell him something. She had asked him over.  
  
"I started on my birthday." She paused then to think of how she was going to word the next part of her explanation. "I mean the whole day was a mess from start to finish. When I came home Joyce was sitting on the stairs. She saw a card in my mail and asked if it was my birthday. The she offered me a beer. She was the only one who said happy birthday to me. I turned down her first offer, but with the days weight behind me, the second offer was too much. So, we sat on the steps and drank for an hour."  
  
With that Abby stopped. What else was there to say? She dared not detail that day's events for it heavily involved Sobriki. She had failed once in keeping him hidden from Carter, she didn't want to fail twice.  
  
"For a while it was under control. Just one glass every few days. But recently, it's been so hard. I just always find myself, when I'm at home, alone, with a bottle in my hand. And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to involve you. I just didn't know who else to turn to," Abby continued staring into space.  
  
"Abby.Abby," Carter attempted to stop Abby from speaking. "Look at me.I'm glad you came to me."  
  
Slowly, as their gazes finally met, the same smile crept upon each of their faces, while Abby let out a small chuckle, "Thanks."  
  
Carter then stood and offered his hand to Abby. "Come on."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Let's go to the 10 o'clock meeting. And afterwards, if your lucky, I might take you out for coffee."  
  
Seeing the smirk on his face Abby allowed Carter to pull her to her feet, to help her into her coat and to lead her out the door.  
  
A/N: Yes, I borrowed some of the dialogue from "The Letter". You weren't just imagining it. Constructive criticism is always needed!!! And if you have any ideas on where this should go please let me know! Thanks for reading!!! 


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